6/16/2008 was my first day at work as an Aide. As I think back to that day when I was a scared timid little girl walking the halls wondering if I really wanted to put myself through this for the rest of my life, I realize how much I have grown.
In the first hour of my new job, I had oatmeal thrown at me, I was shit on, and I made a lady cry because I didn't understand what she was asking for. The rest of the day didn't get any better. I went home that night and cried and debated calling the owner of the gift shop I previously worked at to beg for my job back. But instead I passed out and woke up to do the same thing over again, and after getting to know my co-workers, and getting to understand more about the elderly group I was caring for, I realized there was nothing more that I wanted to do with my life... Well, most of the time at least.
In four short years I have grown up alot. I have learned not to take everything that every patient says to heart, and instead I have learned to smile and let go. I have learned that no matter how hard you try, you cannot save everyone. Sometimes, the patients that you really want to go because they are suffering so bad will hold on the longest. I have learned that death is a part of living. I have learned that a simple touch or just setting in silence beside someone can mean the world to a patient. And most importantly, I have learned what it really means to care.
Monday I sit for the NCLEX. And even thought I am scared to death about it, I have a feeling I will be ok. Tuesday, I will begin orientation for my new job. Tuesday I will become that scared shitless girl again.
In the first hour of my new job, I had oatmeal thrown at me, I was shit on, and I made a lady cry because I didn't understand what she was asking for. The rest of the day didn't get any better. I went home that night and cried and debated calling the owner of the gift shop I previously worked at to beg for my job back. But instead I passed out and woke up to do the same thing over again, and after getting to know my co-workers, and getting to understand more about the elderly group I was caring for, I realized there was nothing more that I wanted to do with my life... Well, most of the time at least.
In four short years I have grown up alot. I have learned not to take everything that every patient says to heart, and instead I have learned to smile and let go. I have learned that no matter how hard you try, you cannot save everyone. Sometimes, the patients that you really want to go because they are suffering so bad will hold on the longest. I have learned that death is a part of living. I have learned that a simple touch or just setting in silence beside someone can mean the world to a patient. And most importantly, I have learned what it really means to care.
Monday I sit for the NCLEX. And even thought I am scared to death about it, I have a feeling I will be ok. Tuesday, I will begin orientation for my new job. Tuesday I will become that scared shitless girl again.
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